Short Wave Reception

COCKSUCKER NARRATIVE

I had this great idea once, for a poem. It was to leave it unfinished like a cocksucker would do. What I realized was, that I couldn’t, because I wasn’t a cocksucker. I had to become a cocksucker.

I’ve always considered myself to be a whore able poet. And when I first realized that is when I became a cocksucker. My poetry’s worth shit but when I shut up and suck your cock, I’ll make you feel it all right.

Because I am a cocksucker now I am able to think of all the poets I know with their pants zipped down for me and its really helpful to think of them that way, especially when they can’t be around anymore.

Irritatitingly new and funny I am your cocksucker.

As this too will pass, I’ll hold myself accountable. I will take on the position of cocksucker for the night.

There is nothing about me in the sentence except for the fact that cocksucker’s in this sentence and that I wrote it and that it’s about me and that’s about it.

It’s took a while and I took it all too personally and it took several baby steps to becoming a cocksucker.

I had to think of the cocksucker as one does the rock star, the trooper. The cocksucker as unforgiving, and full of himself and willing to empty himself and fill himself with all of you, all of you, so he could be the cocksucker. So I could be the cocksucker outright, and forward. I had to learn to quit singing with my fingers and to blow you away.

I give you the right to be as funny and as loud and as irritating as can be you cocksucker, I told myself.

Several distractions have gone come along, but have never truly interrupted my cock sucking.

As this too will pass, it’s okay for the cocksucker to tell you that its like going to a poetry reading, you know, and hearing those around you laughing. At the poet, right. And you think it’s all really funny. That’s the attention span that I have learned to give being a cocksucker. That’s what makes me such a cocksucker.

I have sucked only 5 cocks and I have become really good at being such a cock sucker.

It is neither tedious, nor thieving, or at least it probably seems to you, as it did to me.

Because I am a cocksucker, I am not afraid to click anything, go anywhere, say what I want.

I speak from a position of minority. But as this too will pass, I guess I should go ahead and ask how many of you consider yourselves to be cocksuckers. And how many of you want to be cocksuckers.

Its not always as it seems, sucking cock.

Not every time that I suck cock can I get ahead in life. Not every time that I suck a cock can I write a succesful poem. Or finish.

Not every time I suck a cock can I make it worth it for the both of us.

Not everytime I suck cock am I doing it at the right place, with the right person.

Not every time I suck a cock can I make you feel sorry for me, if that were the point.

Every time that I, a cocksucker, does something new, I have to carry all of my baggage with me. All the pains and tedium of all the ways I’ve sucked cock in the past.

There is no real method to what I do. This too will pass and you will then become the cocksucker and I you, envious and curious, so as to see, what its like, to be, to be such a, to be such a cock sucker, and to have become one, and to be, to be so good at it.

The last couple times I did this, no one was pleased.

Every time I suck cock I have to remind myself that rhythm is everything.

It doesn’t come to you, being a cocksucker – you have to go to it. I tell you.

If this was organized any less, or anymore, the page would be full and the blow job wouldn’t be done. There are several things that would go along unnoticed and I would consider them healthy residue. And you’d leave me here, and  you’re supposed to take me with you.

There are periods of nothing at all. And periods of extreme cock sucking that no one can ignore because everyone wants to be there for it.

As this too will pass I have to ask myself how much of this am I doing for you? Every time I ask myself that by sucking cock, I realize I’m not sure if I can answer the question because I am a cocksucker and I don’t have the time for answering questions.

As this too will pass, I should tell you that what a cocksucker’s constitution is, mainly, is to continue a repeated action of assembling everything he doesn’t like and putting it into one place. Not every time, but most times, this requires the functions of his entire body. The muscles, breath, knees, Achilles tendon and toes working together, neck. Not every time that I suck cock does it require the voluntary removal of saliva which takes a lot of work, and sometimes it helps if you cover your eyes, especially if you are averse to triangulation or semen. That’s what it’s all about and it’s all you’ll see.

There have only been four songs about cocksucking. On the other hand there are 10,700,000 results for cocksucking and not one of them shows up instantly. No one here has ever gone on a search for their cocksucker. Look, you’ve found me. And you can have me. And I can have you. And we can be pleased, here, together, because of me. When you search for cocksuckers all you find are poets. When you are looking for a poetry reading all you’ll find are cocksuckers.

There are more people, empirically speaking, who don’t go out of their way to search search for cocksuckers.

“Cock sucker aurelius and catamite furius, I will face-fuck you.”

After the cocksucker is gone, all that’s left is the effect of the cocksucker. Of the cocksucker, being there, in front of you, you calling him a cock sucker, and telling him that him and his boyfriend are the cutest pair. And that

There are exactly 5 poems written about cocksuckers. The first one, written by some chump named mark doesn’t count. He never was a cocksucker and he’s just trying to fucking defend them. Cocksucker’s need no defense.

The second, written by catallus. Who invented, if you ask me, both cock-sucking and face-fucking. And I work in homage to him, even when I’m there, present, in front of you, sucking your cock. I do it for him.

The third is by some Nelson, who’s written one too many poems about cocksucking to have ever really done it. He doesn’t know what it feels like. And it has nothing, in my case, to do with lips. Fuck lips. Use your words.

The fourth was Duncan. Who I thank. For letting me speak at night, and during the day. For mentioning the cocksucker in a goddamn poem. Moving on. Spicer and Lorca used it. They didn’t in the same way, and everyone knows who was sucking whose cock there.

In effort to you show you all of the effort I put into this, I wish I could show you all of the things I found near cock suckers and how to be cock suckers and how to suck cock well, and the things that weren’t so helpful.